These unbelievable finalists for the Texas State Fair’s Big Tex Awards will have you pulling out the fat pants this fall

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Prepare your taste buds, Houston.

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Last week, the Texas State Fair officially announced its finalists for the 2017 Big Tex Choice Awards.

The 10 delicious dishes competing for the crown run the gamut from sweet, to savory to salty.

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If you’re headed to the fair, you’re going to want to sink your teeth into these creative culinary concoctions.

Don’t believe us?  Check out the delicious lineup for yourself:

Like the ever elusive Taco Bell-KFC, the Surfin’ Turfin’ Tator Boat is like eating the offspring of a Red Lobster and Outback. The dish is a mashup between a baked potato, a steak and a lobster claw — ingredients that you’d normally only be able to find in a to-go box, but getting served up hot and ready this all in D Town.

The Tamale Donut is the food you never knew you needed. It doesn’t matter how it tastes — what’s important is it’s a tamale – shaped like a donut. Combining two of the world’s best foods, there’s no way it can’t succeed.

Texas Fajita Fries look nothing like their name. The dish looks more like a fajita ice cream cone — but we’re okay with that. Along with seasoned meat and a crispy shell, the dish contains bright vegetables, making it practically healthy. At least it is if you compare it to a fried Twinkie….

The Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger shows what happens when you try to combine all of Texas’s favorite dishes into one monstrosity. It’s hard to imagine a dish that contains both a funnel cake and bacon faltering, but this baby is pulling. It. OFF. Let’s be honest, though, we’re all going to shove this bad boy in our faces.

Deep Fried Chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick proves it’s possible to fry anything. Unlike its namesake, this chicken noodle soup looks more like hushpuppies; think soup, without the impracticability, mess and basic-ness. The dish comes with a savory sauce and plenty of saltines – just like Momma made.

Doused in caramel and chocolate sauce, a dish called Fat Smooth is our new best friend. It’s a fried cream puff inspired by a classic New Orleans recipe. This sweet treat looks like a donut and a churro found love on Bachelor in Paradise, and, by the power vested in the little-remaining space in our arteries, we give thanks for their blessed union.

Not the cafeteria you remember, fried Texas Sheet Cake is a step above the rest. Keeping the fried fair foods tradition, this dish also contains crushed cocoa puffs — just in case it wasn’t decadent enough already.

Thanks to the Gulf Coast Fish Bowl, you can sip alcohol out of a candy encrusted cup that resembles a gold fish bowl. You don’t have to throw ping pong balls to take this fish, but you do have to be 21+.

When the munchies strike, make sure to pick up some Pinot Noir Popcorn, the classiest popcorn in all the land. Why eat a regular snack when you can eat one that also gets you (potentially) drunk?

Deep Fried Froot Loops merges sugary cereal with whipped marshmallow, fried to perfection into a super-sweet pastry resembling something of a toaster strudel. It’s like eating all of your favorite childhood breakfast dishes in one glorious treat.

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Try to pace yourselves, Houston. See y’all in Dallas!

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