Rob Fox
If nothing gets you hungrier than the smell of afterbirth on a hot afternoon then get your stomach up to Minnesota because Excelsior, Minnesota restaurant The Suburban serves a burger that has their customers up to their ankles in mung. That’s due to the fact that The Suburban purports to serve a burger that will send whatever is inside of pregnant ladies flyin’ right out. They call this gynecological gastropub fare “The Labor Inducer”.
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They should’ve named it “The Water Breaker” but that’s just me. That makes it sound like some sort of legendary sword from Game of Thrones or something. That is kind of graphic for food, though. At least they didn’t call it “The Dilator”.
This mountain of flavor and Pitocin features an Angus beef patty, honey-cured bacon, peach caramelized onions, spicy mustard and Cajun remoulade on a pretzel bun.
The spicy mustard and Cajun remoulade, in particular, are what many believe greases the cervical wheel, so to speak. It has long been believed that spicy foods can help induce labor, and vinegar is another food item some people believe gets the baby off its ass.
So how many women have The Labor Inducer sent into labor so far? Two. That may not sound like a lot but show me another burger’s labor stats. You can’t. Nobody can tell me how many inches of water the Big Mac has broken. And until anyone can The Labor Inducer is the champ.
Hear it from The Suburban:
Story time! As many know, back in April one of our owners, Kelsey, went into labor 8 days early with our little Sam (pictured left) just a mere hours after trying our burger for the @tcburgerbattle, thus creating the name The Labor Inducer. Well, just last week Zac and Katy Engler came in and let us know that in a last ditch effort on her due date, Katy tried the burger and what do you know? She went into labor with beautiful Elise (pictured right) at midnight that night! Sam and Elise are hopefully the first of many more “Suburban Tots” when we add the burger to our permanent menu (coming soon)!
Pregnant women in eastern Minnesota agree. They’ve been flocking to The Suburban in hopes that their now-famous burger will mercifully end their third trimester and turn their internal burden into a bundle of joy.
This probably isn’t the most ideal way to get your restaurant famous — presumably it’s more preferable to be known for your fresh food than fresh placenta — but hey, it’s still pretty good press. Now The Suburban just has to make sure their bathrooms are clean. Like, super clean. A sterile environment, really.
This article was originally published on October 1, 2019.
