The American neighborhood is practically a mythologized place in our modern country’s lore. Kids running around playing at dusk, barbecues and block parties, perfectly cut grass on every lawn. This idealized version of the neighborhood is a prominent stone in America’s Infinity Gauntlet of values.
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Americans buy into this vision of the American neighborhood but also, ironically, revel in the undermining of it. A lot. One of the most popular settings of comedies and dramas involve the subversion of the all-American neighborhood. Television shows like Desperate Housewives and Weeds, and films like American Beauty and The Stepford Wives portray a dark hollowness beneath the sheen.
And here’s the thing: those movies and shows are right. All isn’t as well as one would be lead to believe. But here’s the other thing: the underlying turmoil is way grosser and dumber — so much dumber — than Hollywood makes it out to be.
And it all plays out on a website called Nextdoor, where neighbors basically just yell at each other and say mean things via internet comments. The Twitter account @BestofNextDoor collects the dumbest posts and arguments of all for our collective enjoyment. Here are some highlights.
The neighbor who doesn’t understand that people make up funny names for their WiFi networks.
Nextdoor is Twitter for old people. 🧐 pic.twitter.com/dNczrgLSrR
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 19, 2018
This important argument.
"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡 pic.twitter.com/dER34BPkB9
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 17, 2018
This man who exercises his rights because he is a free American.
I like how he updated the headline: pic.twitter.com/goUGlFKmL7
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 17, 2018
This lady who needs to wash her hands now.
"It seems to be like a nice glass blown paper weight or something…" 🧐 pic.twitter.com/RzsU0SPrYj
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 16, 2018
A Packers fan and a Vikings fan in the same neighborhood.
🚨URGENT ALERT🚨 pic.twitter.com/JxQow1PlMH
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 16, 2018
An offended dog owner.
Meanwhile in Denver… pic.twitter.com/ItKQTQJJfY
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 16, 2018
A psychopath offers advice.
"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡 pic.twitter.com/ZK2QAPIi0R
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 15, 2018
The worst neighborhood watch ever.
"And if I see kids shooting fireworks on Halloween, be warned… my husband is carrying a Super Soaker full of dog piss!" pic.twitter.com/adgPhep9do
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 3, 2018
This… situation.
Oh. My. God. pic.twitter.com/ypTgwmkBsN
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 2, 2018
This devolved quickly. (It always does.)
"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡 pic.twitter.com/BsTJeFj7xp
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) August 24, 2018
This woman selling what she thinks might be an original Van Gogh for seventy bucks.
"Not sure of authenticity…" pic.twitter.com/Nb1v0PztPb
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) August 23, 2018
And this giant WHOOSH of a political debate.
"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡 pic.twitter.com/7EoomJsSOh
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) September 20, 2018
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