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Comedian Norm Macdonald appeared on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” Wednesday night to promote his new memoir.

It’s not a memoir, according to Macdonald, however. It’s a novel.

“I was angry when it was in the non-fiction section,” he said, continuing on a rant of nonsensical logic.

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“If this were a memoir, I would put juicy things from my own life,” he said.

He then began making a joke about being a deeply, closeted gay man. Though when Conan asked if he was gay, he flatly denied it. “I’m straight as an arrow,” he said, joking about the definition of deeply closeted.

“If this were a memoir, I would tell about my wife, what a battle axe,” he said.

“A battle axe? No one has called their wife a battle axe since 1945,” Conan exclaimed.

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Conan called out the nonsense, saying, “What is going on? This is a 1935 radio show!”

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