Once a vocal pot smoker, “Saturday Night Live’s” “resident young person” Pete Davidson recently took a brief hiatus from the show to check into a drug rehab center, and for the first time he’s learning there are 24 hours in a day — he had thought there were only six.
And what does one do with an extra 18 hours each day? “Masturbate,” he tells “Weekend Update’s” Colin Jost.
“I was on drugs for the last eight years,” Davidson says. “Now I have to get all the bad kids out.” His dry delivery takes a second to hit the audience, which makes it all the more satisfying. Jost doesn’t get it. “I’ve got a bunch of dummies in there,” Davidson points to his crotch. “If I had a kid right now, it would come out with a snapback and a neck tattoo.”
Being sober also seems to have brought Davidson a new kind of clarity, like knowing to not pick a rehab facility while you’re high. Because that’s how you end up as a guy allergic to horses at a facility with “horse therapy.”