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John Cena is Ray, football star for the University of Alabama and goal-oriented student. In fact, Ray’s so committed to his studies that if he doesn’t ace all of his finals, he’s decided to sit out the upcoming bowl game. So yeah, it’s kind of a big deal to the Alabama fans that he does well, and it helps to have fans as professors, as this all-too-real sketch from “SNL” explains.


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For this final, for Science class, each student had a faculty-assigned topic to explore. The first student was saddled with “Quantum Entanglement in paired particles.” The second, “Ionization in the gas phase.” Ray, however, was given a much more nutritiously vague topic: bananas. One student created a homemade particle accelerator, but Ray — sweet, sweet Ray — is showered with praise for his “bananas nailed to a piece of plywood.”

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“Banana,” Cena begins to explain, “is a yeller snack that monkeys eat.” He then takes the class through his five types of bananas, scientifically nailed to the plywood. There’s yellow, “brown-spotty” and very brown, to start. One of the types, as Ray puts it, is a round, orange banana. SCIENCE!

Steve is a humor writer for Rare
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