From the sanctity of his study, Stephen Colbert released a video of a monologue responding to the second presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.
It’s a pitch perfect monologue — if it were given in the Ed Sullivan Theater, it would have been punctuated by laughter.
He begins in his study, telling us that since he’s responding to the debate from his home, he’ll have a different co-host — then brings up a cat, Mr. Whiskerpants, who is apparently undecided in the upcoming election.
He talks about Trump’s infamous recorded crude comments and mentions grabbing people by the Whiskerpants. Colbert then assures his cat he’ll “never let Donald Trump touch [him].”
Colbert comments on Trump’s sniffing, the candidates not shaking hands, how Trump threatened Clinton with jail time, and how Clinton can avoid going to prison by following the advice of her Wall Street friends.
The late night host discusses how Trump and Pence seem to be in a sort of conflict, calling Pence an “undecided voter.”
He then sings a folk song about Ken Bone and his question on energy policies, and talks about the positive question at the end of the debate.
“Trump always has Tic-Tacs on him?” Colbert guesses, and then comments on how Clinton said the best thing about Trump is five other people.
Colbert ends by picking up his cat and resuming his vacation, and we can all thank him for taking a moment out of his day to comment.