Stephen Colbert shouldn’t be surprised if he soon gets an angry tweet from thin-skinned President-elect Donald Trump after the late-night talk-show host mocked the billionaire’s $25-million settlement in the Trump University fraud case.
Colbert decided the students of Trump University needed to be consoled.
“Graduates of Trump U, as you leave these hallowed hotel ballrooms to start your lives and then restart your educations at an actual school, you will be entering a troubled world,” Colbert said in an opening sketch on Monday’s “Late Show.”
“For example, Donald Trump is going to be President. But you are uniquely poised to take on that challenge because real-world experience is the best teacher and you’ve been conned by a master.”
Trump avoided having to testify in a class action lawsuit as the President of the United States by agreeing to pay the $25 million settlement. Trump claims that if he had not been elected President that he would have won the court battle. Instead, he opted to settle for the good of the country.
Colbert joked that the settlement will bond Trump University graduates forever.
“The connections you’ve made here will last a lifetime. Look to your left. Look to your right. Those are the people you’ll be splitting the settlement check with,” Colbert said.
“Also, never take business advice from a man who can’t sell vodka or steaks. You know what everyone loves? Booze and meat. So go out there and be a shining example of Trump University’s timeless motto: carpe crotch-um.”