On Monday night in Los Angeles,”Jimmy Kimmel Live!” showed off what a truly politically correct Thanksgiving would look like, using local children to drive his point home.
“This is not 1621. This is 2016, and some of the story is out of date,” Kimmel explained to his audience.
“So we thought it might be a good idea to update the story of Thanksgiving to reflect our modern sensitivities.”
In Kimmel’s 2016 politically correct version of the holiday, people are a lot less concerned with the thanking and very concerned with taking.
“I am cold and hungry,” one pilgrim says.
“Me too, but let’s not dismiss the experiences of all those who are not cold and hungry,” another responds.
Throughout the clip, a narrator walks the viewer through the celebration, as the children inject PC lingo into the traditional Thanksgiving tale.
Things like locally sourced food and gathering in a safe space take precedence over traditional Thanksgiving stereotypes.
At the end of the bit, a tofurkey appears and helps explain the meaning of Thanksgiving.
“You see, when we all come together in compromise, and we try to please everyone, we end up with a lumpy mound of brown goo.”