Patrick Stewart, like Christopher Walken and Morgan Freeman, has a voice that is recognizable in an instant. It’s the type of voice that you wouldn’t mind having narrate your life, and when he sat down with GQ to narrate one-star reviews of famous monuments, it was the stuff of magic.
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Perhaps the best was a review for the Hoover Dam, which read, “More like the Hoover ‘damn, this is disappointing.’ Correct me if I’m wrong, but anybody can build a wall to hold water. It’s called a bath tub.”
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But the most brutal moment of all came with a review declaring, “Do you know who loved he Eiffel Tower? Hitler.”