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A Maine woman who ran a topless cleaning service was arrested for shoplifting “naughty underthings,” police said.

The woman, who police did not identify, is accused of stealing undergarments and violating her bail conditions, according to police.

Even the Bangor Maine Police Department couldn’t help but poke fun at this bizarre incident.

Here was the full post:

If you follow our page regularly, you will note that I am a staunch supporter of small business and the enterprising individuals trying to find a way to their own American dream.


I embrace the entrepreneurial spirit and the willingness to step away from the nurturing safety of working for someone else in order to have a go at doing it on your own.

Finding the niche market where your business plan can become a reality is more difficult than you can imagine and we need to keep in mind that a high percentage of small businesses fail in the first three years.

When I read this case file and discovered that the owner of this fledgling enterprise was arrested by Officer Dick Polk (yup, that’s really his name) for shoplifting several “naughty underthings” from a local purveyor of same, I was disappointed. I jumped to the conclusion that the business plan did not really match the printed advertising materials. No, I don’t know who their graphic design firm is.

Polk found that the owner/operator of-Topless Cleaning- (noted by two stars in the accompanying flyer) had stolen garments that would fully cover, support, and contain much of what her business title promised her customers. She was also had bail conditions because of prior police encounters and experiences.

It was only then that I realized that even someone involved in this burgeoning market would need a business wardrobe in order to present themselves in a professional and proper manner upon the initial approach to the customer.

My mind drifted back to a simpler time in America when the lowly Fuller-Brush salesmen of yesterday would carry all their wares inside the safety of a quality case. No one wanted all those brushes just moving around willy-nilly in the back of a Plymouth Business coupe. Products could become damaged, lose bristles, or become shop-worn. Then discounts would have to be applied. Not a good business practice.

If the brushes were to reveal themselves to the customer prior to the sales pitch and accompanying demonstration phase, the sale might not go through.

Insurance is not the only coverage that this type of business needs. I also pondered the possibility that a enterprise like this one would do much better without the normally coveted- Double (or triple) A rating.

Polk photographed the well-crafted advertising flyer and duly noted that several of the easy tear off tabs had been removed by individuals who had dirty dwellings and possibly dirty minds.

I have no idea if there are any other FTE’s involved in the company plan, but if you did have your heart set on a full “top to bottom” cleaning of your crib, you might want to grab a mop-because this woman won’t be showing up with buckets and sponges anytime soon.

She was arrested for the shoplifting charge as well violation of conditions of release. Both were Class E crimes. How serendipitous.

We did not find her cleaning supplies…those must have been kept somewhere else.

We cannot judge those who feel the need to have their rugs cleaned by a person that always shows up ready to BYOB (Bring Your Own Bleach), but we can tell you that sometimes this kind of service comes with risks. Always ask for references.

In this case, and many others, we advise everyone to keep their hands to themselves, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.

The men and women of the Bangor Police Department will be here.

We already have a janitor.

Have a great Thursday.

TC

“I jumped to the conclusion that the business plan did not really match the printed advertising materials,” police wrote on Facebook.

The post ended with the writer saying, “We cannot judge those who feel the need to have their rugs cleaned by a person that always shows up ready to BYOB (Bring Your Own Bleach),” finishing by joking, “We already have a janitor.”

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