The Waffle House never closes. Like, ever. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse could be raining sulfur and death on the Southeastern United States and you could still get a pecan waffle and grits. At three in the morning. If there were a Waffle House in London during The Blitz that bad boy would have been taking orders for steak and eggs in between bursts of anti-aircraft fire.
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The only thing that really ever does close a Waffle House is a direct hit from a tornado, maybe the building being on fire, or an exceptionally strong hurricane. But even then, that hurricane has to be strong, or the restaurant has to be probably like over 50% on fire. In fact, the Waffle House is so hard to close down that FEMA uses a scale based on Waffle House closures to tell just how bad a hurricane and its aftermath actually are.
The scale is called The Waffle House Index and it goes like this:
GREEN: full menu – the restaurant has power and damage is limited.
YELLOW: limited menu – no power or only power from a generator, or food supplies may be low.
RED: the restaurant is closed – indicating severe damage.
Waffle House will literally serve you food even if it has no power or has to run its restaurant on a generator, and chances are half the time that “generator” is just a cook standing out back, smoking a cigarette and turning a hand crank.
Naturally then, as Hurricane Florence bears down on the east coast, Waffle House is (seriously) preparing. They’re not going to let a little Biblically strong wind stop them from slinging hash browns.
The @WaffleHouse Storm Center is activated and monitoring #Florence. Plan ahead and be safe. pic.twitter.com/UOBi5oZRRi
— Waffle House News (@WaffleHouseNews) September 11, 2018
Presumably, the Waffle House storm preparedness team is discussing how big of a tree has to crash through their roof and crush their flat top grill before the menu becomes waffles only.
So remember, if you’re in the middle of a natural disaster but you see an open Waffle House, you’re actually completely and totally safe, and you should go have some waffles.