Man gets called a “mouse” in bed and grabs the nearest dildo to defend his honor — it didn’t work

A Florida couple’s drunken roll in the hay went entirely off the rails when a girlfriend 16 years her boyfriend’s senior remarked, “You’re not a man, you’re a mouse [in bed].”

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Eric Pritsch, 42, was apparently having some engine trouble when earlier this month he reacted poorly, we’ll say, to being criticized for coming up short.

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Pritsch grabbed the nearest “plastic dildo” he could find, which was conveniently within arms length, and hit his girlfriend Carol Favuzza, 58. He also is accused of punching Favuzza.

Thanks to The Smoking Gun, we have this wonderful police report:

The Smoking Gun/MCSO
The Smoking Gun/MCSO

So apparently, Favuzza ran out of her trailer home, waved down a cop and said she was “struck […] in the back several times with a plastic dildo and some type of cord.”

The responding officer noted that the two were both highly intoxicated. Favuzza’s face and jaw were also swelling up.

Both Favuzza and Pritsch were taken to the hospital, Pritsch for the level of intoxication he was displaying.

The two have a history of battering each other.

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Pritsch has been released from county jail on $2,500 bond. He was charged with misdemeanor battery.

As for the dildo, no one knows where it is.

Police said they “did not locate the dildo allegedly used by Pritsch to strike Favuzza.”

What do you think?

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