Ellen DeGeneres might seem like she has it all, but she knows she’s nothing without Portia de Rossi.
The talk show host opened up to PEOPLE about the many blessings in her life and how much she appreciates being with her wife.
“Portia and I constantly say to each other, ‘We are so lucky.’ Sometimes it’s lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there,” she said. “I’ve gotten to a place where I really am just settled. Really. I know that I’m not going anywhere. She’s not going anywhere. I’m not saying the relationship took a while; I’m saying in my life, it took a while to find this.”
The couple wed in 2008, and DeGeneres said they learned to never take their relationship for granted.
She also believes when it comes to a relationship, “you get what you give.”
“I think you can’t expect someone to treat you a certain way. Whatever it is, if you’re getting a lot of negative energy or anger, you have to say, ‘Why am I getting this? Am I doing something to create it?’ And if the answer is honestly no, then get out of that situation.”
DeGeneres and de Rossi live in Los Angeles with with three dogs and three cats. She said they have always been aware that their marriage comes before work.
“Our priorities are each other too,” she said. “If we had kids, then I’m sure they would be, but we are. And that’s important.”
DeGeneres said she defines family as “people who get you.” She continued, “I think the word ‘love’ is thrown around, like, ‘I love you’ is great to hear, but you want to feel it. You want to feel that you’re understood, and they know exactly who you are, and they know how to take care of you. That, to me, is family. I don’t think it has anything to do with blood relation. Family for everyone is different.”
And, as for the best part of marriage, DeGeneres said, “There’s no best part. It’s everything. I can’t imagine not being married. I have my best friend, the person I want to spend time with more than anybody else in the world.”