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10 reasons we should be terrified of a government shutdown

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, Rare Contributor

Posted on

 Forget what the Republicans are saying, forget that the infamous government shutdowns of 1995-6 ushered in great economic prosperity. Here are 10 reasons you should be incredibly concerned about a government shutdown.

  1. Who will shut down the corner lemonade stand? We can’t let those little pig-tailed blondies at the end of the block think they can sell lemonade without a permit.

lemonade

(image from Forbes.com)

2. Who will raid raw milk farms? The Amish have been terrorizing the countryside with their raw, unchemicaled milk. What do they think this is? EUROPE?

milk farms

3. Who will secretly read our emails? It just seems uncivilized to read my email before the NSA.

NSA

4. And the money, what about the money? Who is going to spend all of our money on things like salmon fisheries?

salmon fisheries

5. Mexican drug lords won’t get their weapons in time for their next raid. We all know how hard it is to kidnap and torment without American taxpayer funded weaponry… think of the drug lords!

mexican drug lords

6. Americans would be safe from drone surveillance and attack. How are we supposed to feel safe without the constant threat of drone attack and surveillance?

drone

7. What will we do without politicians constantly hurling their contempt at the American people who pay their salaries?

obama

8. No more White House tours!!! Oh wait…

white house tours

9. So.Many.Post.Offices.To.Name.

post offices

10. There will be no one to molest us at airports. I’m not prepared to live in a world where I don’t get a little federal pre-flight action.

TSA

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