Rare Humor

8 hot topics that will make their way into every rap song over the 6 months

, Rare Staff

Whether it’s a cheap shot at former president George W. Bush or a Miley Cyrus twerking reference, culturally relevant metaphors have been a significant facet of rap music since the genre’s conception. Here are eight hot topics that will undoubtedly turn into tiresome rap punchlines over the next six months.

Richie Incognito

Cultural relevance: The name alone is enough for any above-average wordsmith to have a field day with. Incognito’s tendency to bully teammates and be an all-around badass is just the icing on the lyrical cake.

Potential lyrics:

“Your rap game is Richie Rich, mine is Richie Incognito.”

“My style is more offensive than the Dolphins’ locker room.”

Obamacare

Cultural relevance: The absolute mess surrounding President Obama’s universal healthcare initiative has been fodder for everyone from conservative bloggers to late night TV hosts. More rappers need to jump in on this gold mine.

Potential lyrics:

“Got drunk last night/crashed harder than the Obamacare website.”

“I’m so high, healthcare premium.”

Government shutdown

Cultural relevance: Though the shutdown itself ended weeks ago, it’s been a consistent talking point, particularly among Democratic pundits. Rappers, who generally lean liberal, would be smart to jump on this.

Potential lyrics:

“Can’t shut me down, I go harder than the government.”

Rob Ford

Cultural relevance: He’s a mayor who gets drunk, smokes crack, and assaults paparazzi. Enough said.

Potential lyrics:

“I don’t smoke crack, I rock Rob Ford.”

“Throw your hands in the air if you’re a crack-smoking mayor!”

Chris Christie

Christie_Town_Hall-0d177_image_1024w

Cultural relevance: Christie’s moderate platform in the midst of a radically conservative Republican movement is making headlines everywhere. Also, the man’s really fat.

Potential lyrics:

“My stacks are fatter than Chris Christie.”

“I’m the biggest around, Chris Christie.”

“I eat rappers like Chris Christie eats bacon.”

NSA scandal

Cultural relevance: Socially conscious hip hop is all about bringing government exploitation to light and the NSA surveillance scandal is a prime example of that.

Potential lyrics:

“Call me Mr. NSA, cuz I’m about to tap that.”

“Can I get yo’ numba girl? Never mind, I already have it.” (Only works if the rapper is an actual employee of the NSA).

Twitter

Cultural relevance: Twitter has been around for quite some time now, but the recent announcement of its IPO opens up the door for much more new material.

Potential lyrics:

“I have a Twitter personality, 140 characters.”

“I treat my b—— like Twitter when I initially offer them to the public.”

Pope Francis

Cultural relevance: Pope Francis has been making waves for his stance on social issues and is being praised by many for his tolerance. Is this new leader of the Catholic Church hip hop’s savior?

Potential lyrics:

“I’m doper than the Pope.”

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