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“Candy was my whole life when I was a kid,” says Jerry Seinfeld as he begins his classic set on Halloween. “The first ten years of my life, I think the only clear thought I had was ‘get candy.'”

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Seinfeld then talks about how a child has to be taught not to accept candy from strangers, because as a child, the only factor that is noticed is that a person has candy.

So, to Seinfeld as a kid, the idea of Halloween is ridiculous, because he is getting a huge amount of free candy, and he’s willing to do anything to participate.


“I gotta be a part of this; I’ll do anything that they want!” Seinfeld says on the child’s discovery of Halloween. “I can wear that,” he delivers, and it gets a huge laugh.

“I can wear that,” he delivers, and it gets a huge laugh.

The bit, from Seinfeld’s “I’m Telling You for the Last Time” comedy special, has him riffing on the experience of Halloween as a kid and how it goes from being the best thing ever to being something clinical and calculated, and how the costumes used to be.

Seinfeld talks about how he got a Superman costume with an awful mask, and how he was disappointed with the quality of the costume.

Seinfeld also talked about how he would avoid certain houses because they would have the off-brand candy.

“We’re going for name candy only this year,” Seinfeld says in a highbrow voice.

It just proves that Seinfeld’s material is just as funny today as it was years ago.

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