Rare Humor

Poll: 75 percent of Americans disapprove of Congress’ approval rating [Satire]

, Rare Staff

In a shocking new poll, 75 percent of Americans disapprove of Congress’ current approval rating, despite the fact that it is already abysmally low.

“There are still pockets of Americans who are not completely fed up with Congress and this is a very real problem,” said a voter who wishes to remain anonymous. “Sure, Congress is less popular than dog poop and toenail fungus, but this isn’t enough. Eight percent of Americans still approve of the job that Congress is doing, and this represents a serious disconnect that threatens the very fabric of this nation.”

Of the 1,000 people surveyed, 55 percent indicated that they strongly disapprove of Congress’ approval rating. Twenty percent said they just disapprove, and 15 percent said they approve of the current rating. The remaining 10 percent said they did not know that Congress had a rating, but that PG-13 seemed reasonable.

Voters were also asked what they thought Congress’ approval rating should look like. Sixty percent believe that Congress should have an zero percent approval rating, while thirty percent believe that there are still a few members of Congress who should stick around because they have cool names like Dutch Ruppersberger and Saxby Chambliss. Ten percent think that Congress should have a 69 percent approval rating, because 69 is a pretty funny number.

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