You said Obamacare will be fixed “ASAP” — we’re waiting, Mr. President

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Americans have been promised a fully functional Obamacare website after “a couple hundred functional fixes,” and though it “doesn’t work as well as it should,” President Obama will deliver “ASAP.”

But according to a Washington Post source with knowledge of the project Wednesday, the secondary deadline of November 30 might have been a little overly optimistic as well. The site continues to crash with more than 20,000 to 30,000 attempted users at one time, with only about six of every 10 repairs completed successfully so far.

And while excuses and apologies abound, time ticks on.

“There’s no denying it. Right now, the website is too slow; too many people have gotten stuck. And I am not happy about it … there’s no excuse for it. And I take full responsibility for making sure it gets fixed ASAP,” Obama guaranteed a Massachusetts crowd Oct. 30.

In other words, America can chill — just sit back, fire up that HealthCare.gov loading screen and lament the loss of the moderately satisfied-looking, smile-but-not-too-much Obamacare girl until “the end of November,” said White House economic advisor Jeffrey Zients Oct. 25.

After Wednesday’s latest less-than-relevatory delays, many Americans wonder just how long “ASAP” will be — and that is exactly what the Rare “ASAP” clock aims to determine.

“There are a couple hundred functional fixes” to get through first as Secretary of Health Kathleen Sebelius described to a Senate hearing Nov. 6, but there is no cause for worry – the department has “a pretty aggressive schedule to get to the entire list,” Sebelius said.

Americans desiring affordable healthcare can rest assured of these specific guarantees. The administration’s record of fool-proof promises will undoubtedly remain unmarred, especially in regard to its premiere legislation.

“If you like your healthcare plan, you will be able to keep your healthcare plan, period,” Obama has been recorded saying at least 29 times.

The president’s reputation will remain unmarred so long as said guarantees are cleared up with a more detailed, modifying clause.

“Now, if you had one of these plans before the Affordable Care Act came into law, and you really liked that plan, what we said was you can keep it if it hasn’t changed since the law passed,” Obama told a group of supporters Nov. 4.

Even still, legitimate mistakes have been made in the implementation of the Affordable Care Act, and administration officials continue to line up to accept blame and apologize to the American people.

“We need to, as I just said, make sure that folks who fall in that 5 percent and had their plans canceled by their insurers in the past three years, that we need to do a better job of getting information to them so they know what their options are and they know that they will, without question, have higher-quality insurance because of this than they currently have,” White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said Nov. 5.

“To the millions of Americans who have attempted to use HealthCare.gov to shop and enroll in healthcare coverage, I want to apologize to you that the Web site has not worked as well as it should,” Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Administrator Marilyn Tavenner testified before the House Ways and Means Committee Oct. 29.

“I apologize. I’m accountable to you for fixing these problems,” Sebelius testified before the House Energy and Commerce Committee Oct. 30.

It’s a really, really long line.

“I am sorry that they, you know, are finding themselves in this situation, based on assurances they got from me,” Obama said in an interview with NBC News Thursday.

“We’ve got to work hard to make sure that they know we hear them and that we’re going to do everything we can to deal with folks who find themselves in a tough position as a consequence of this,” Obama said.

Without the president’s “everything,” American’s healthcare might be in real trouble right now — but, not to worry; it will all be fixed — “ASAP.”

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