Six years later, this is still the funniest thing I have ever heard said out loud

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In March of 2010, Zach Galifianakis was riding high off the success of 2009’s “The Hangover” and had three movies on the docket for release.

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For his first stint as host of “Saturday Night Live,” Galifianakis gave the audience the treat of performing a surreal monologue that was similar to his stand-up sets.

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I was in the audience for that evening’s dress rehearsal and can still feel the excitement that radiated throughout Studio 8H at Rockefeller Center.

When Galifianakis appeared for his monologue, the crowd did more then just applaud: they went absolutely crazy for the man who, at the time, was the hottest thing in comedy.

His stand-up career had just about slowed to a halt at that point, so I knew that his monologue may be the closest I’d ever come to seeing him do comedy on stage.

Zach began his monologue by making a joke that he was glad to be back hosting “SNL” (he had never hosted it before) and that he had gone to great pains to perfect his look for the evening’s show.

“The stylist here at ‘Saturday Night Live,’ she said, ‘Zach, what kind of look are you going for for your monologue?’ And I said, ‘Well, just give me the Lighthouse Attendant. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me the Homeless Professor. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me Marijuana Santa Claus,'” Galifianakis explained to the crowd.

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That’s when he set up a bit that, to this day, I cannot see without getting close to tears due to laughing so hard, a bit that is still the funniest thing I have ever born witness to.

Galifianakis complained about how he was living in a very trendy part of Brooklyn. He was growing weary of the “too cool for school types” and wanted to break the vibe sometimes.

“You know, these skinny kids with their skinny jeans? The subway is often late. Everybody is just too cool for school,” Zach explains.

“Every time I’m on the subway platform, and I finally see the light for the train coming down the tunnel, it takes everything in my body not to yell out: ‘Hey, everybody! Here comes the choo-choo! Hey, everybody! Here comes the choo-choo!'”

And that was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard said out loud.

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