Read Bryan Bickell’s emotional Player’s Tribune, “Grinder” Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

There is nothing scarier than knowing something is wrong with you but you, and the doctors, have no clue what it is happening.

That was how former Chicago Blackhawks’ Bryan Bickell felt as he left the ice during the 2015 playoff series.

In his contributing article, “Grinder,” for the Players’ Tribune, Bickell opens up about the shocking, and terrifying, news that he was diagnosed with M.S.

He knew something was wrong during the end of the 2015 season, when his energy levels dropped. He grew even more concerned after he fainted leaving the ice. And, was terrified when he started to lose control of his body in the off-season.

But even as the diagnosis came in, he knew one thing: he would make it back to play in the NHL, and would leave on his own terms.

And that, he did.

While the article is about his new life battling M.S., that’s not what Bickell wants to be remember by.

“So just do me one final favor,” Bickell writes. “When you remember the career of Bryan Bickell, I don’t want you to think about the guy with M.S.”

I want you to think about the guy who loved this game so much that he stole Hossa’s stinky knee brace so he could play with a torn MCL. I want you to think about the guy who worked for it, and stuck with it, and won at it. I want you to think about the guy who retired on his own terms — and then moved through his 30s and 40s, into his 50s and 60s, into his 70s and 80s, like he skated through his 20s.

By grinding, one day at a time.

We love you, Bryan Bickell. You do NOT suck!

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