A Houston-area state lawmaker wants to outlaw masturbation and hold men accountable for their half of reproduction

Larry Flynt Publications Inc. (LFP) Publisher Larry Flynt comments on the resignation of former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, during an interview with The Associated Press in his office in Beverly Hills, Calif. Friday, March 14, 2008. Flynt is making an offer of one-million US Dollars to Ashley Alexandra Dupre to pose fully nude in his Hustler adult magazine. Dupre is the call girl whose tryst with disgraced New York Governor Eliot Spitzer brought about his downfall. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

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In what could easily be the plot of a fantastic Lifetime film, Texas State Rep. Jessica Farrar (D-Houston) introduced a bill last week that aims to prevent “unregulated masturbatory emissions.”

Elle Woods famously made the argument against wasting sperm in rare comedic form back in 2001, but the 11-term real-life representative hardly believes this is a laughing matter.

In an interview with the Houston Chronicle, Farrar defended her convictions.

“What’s not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare,” she said.

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She has also publicly stated her concerns with a controversial fetal remains bill that is gaining traction in the Texas Legislature and would require hospitals to bury or cremate fetal remains.

Specifically, the legislation prohibits men from making masturbatory emissions that are not inside a woman’s vagina, describing the wasted discharge as “an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.”

The bill would also require men to hear information, as well as undergo an MRI and internal examination of his rectum, before receiving certain procedures, such as vasectomies. Farrar said she would like the legislation to mirror the requirements for women in Texas to hear information and receive a transvaginal ultrasound before they have an abortion.

Farrar said she introduced HB 4260 due to the onslaught of legislation inappropriately directed toward women, noting how hardly any bills impose requirements on men, despite possessing their own reproductive material that is so heavily regulated in the opposite sex.

Regularly, members in the Texas Legislature fiercely defend women’s health care rights, but with the majority of the House and Senate being “middle aged, male, and white,” it’s hard to imagine the state passing legislation that would directly limit their reproductive liberties.

What do you think?

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