Gerald Hanks
Houston is infamous for its freeway traffic jams. Some of these situations arise from incompetent drivers, horrible accidents, or high traffic volumes on an overloaded freeway system. But one problem that makes Houston traffic intolerable doesn’t involve high speeds, moving violations, or even a vehicle. A frequent cause of Houston traffic jams comes from the simplest source.
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Naked people.
In March 2016, a woman drove off after a fender bender. The other driver called 911 and followed the woman. The driver watches as she climbed on top of a tractor trailer that was stopped in traffic. She gave other drivers on U.S. 290 a free show as she stripped down and danced on top of the cab . She “performed” for over two hours until police coaxed her down and arrested her.
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In August of that same year, a man decided to go streaking on South Loop 610 at Interstate 45. Several drivers, most of them on their way to a Texans preseason game, took out their cellphones to record the naked runner. Authorities did not disclose to the media whether the man was mentally ill, if he had lost a bet, or if he had seen one too many screenings of the Will Ferrell comedy Old School.
Texas has lots of places to celebrate the unclothed human form, from Hippie Hollow to burlesque shows to gentleman’s clubs. However, some people need to learn that a major freeway is not the place, and rush-hour traffic is not the time.
