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Bruce Willis’ Comedy Central Roast is BRUTAL YouTube: Comedy Central
YouTube: Comedy Central

Agreeing to a Comedy Central Roast, you know what you’re signing up for. The guest of honor, along with a random smattering of celebrities, get insulted, degraded, and utterly destroyed on national television. Compared to Dean Martin’s Rat Pack-era roasts, the Comedy Central specials are a concentrated dose of X-rated filth. And are all the better for it.

Some have gone down in internet history: the roast of James Franco, the roast of Justin Bieber, the roast of Charlie Sheen… but those all feel like easy targets. It’s much more interesting to take down a true Hollywood legend. So without further ado, check out the classic Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis below.

The Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis

On Comedy Central, celebrity roasts employ a panel of high-profile roasters overseen by one “roast master.” On the eve of July 29, 2018, Bruce Willis’ Looper co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt took over the pivotal role for roasting the iconic action star. Gordon-Levitt was joined on-stage by Willis’ Moonlighting co-star — and former foe — Cybill Shepherd, actor Edward Norton, raunchy comedian (and roasting pro) Nikki Glaser, Lil Rel Howery of Get Out fame, stand-up comic Dom Irrera, character actor Kevin Pollak, basketball superstar Dennis Rodman, homemaker queen (and ex-con) Martha Stewart, and Comedy Central’s so-called Roastmaster General Jeff Ross.

Each guest takes a jab at the entire panel, working their way up to the ultimate target. Be sure to watch their meanest work.

“I loved The Sixth Sense. The ending! I did not see that twist coming… at the end of The Sixth Sense, Bruce goes back to making sh*tty movies! And have a good time tonight, but don’t get too comfortable up here. Because later we’ll be replacing you with Ashton Kutcher.”

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Nikki Glaser Comes For Everyone

Kevin Pollak’s Pitch-Perfect Christopher Walken Impersonation

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Listen to Kevin Pollak deliver this unhinged message from Willis’ Pulp Fiction co-star.

“Bruce, you keep making these bombs. Just like Kim Jong-un. But at least Kim is smart enough not to release his.”

— Dennis Rodman

Jeff Ross Attacks Bruce Willis

“Bruce Willis. What a career. The Fifth Element. The Sixth Sense. The Whole Nine Yards. 12 Monkeys. Zero Oscars. Quentin Tarantino, M. Night Shyamalan, Wes Anderson, Michael Bay… these are just some of Bruce’s directors who refused to be here tonight.”

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Surprise! Demi Moore Shows Up

Bruce Willis’ ex-wife Demi Moore made a surprise appearance as the final roaster on the Comedy Central special. Though they share daughters Scout, Rumer, and Tallulah — and remain friends — Moore did not keep it civil for the roast’s grand finale. Of the movie star’s turn in Pulp Fiction, she said:

“But Bruce went over to Harvey Weinstein‘s hotel, and, I don’t know, he came back swinging that ball gag, and then he said, ‘I got the part.’ “

YIKES.

Bruce Willis Punches Back

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The whole time, you knew this was coming. In this ultimate clap-back segment, the Die Hard actor defended his honor. But I still think he got totally roasted.

WATCH: How Pete Davidson Tricked Alec Baldwin into Doing Sit-Ups Everyday

Emily Mack About the author:
Emily Mack is a staff writer for Rare. She currently lives in Chicago and has very strong opinions about where to find the best hot dog. She studied nonfiction writing at Columbia University in New York City, and recently graduated with the Ellis Avery Prize for creative writing. Her favorite topics are Cher, fast fashion, Chicago urban legends, and Jack Nicholson movies.
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