Jennifer Lopez says she “lost herself” following the end of her engagement to Ben Affleck

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck walk the red carpet before the premiere of Gigli held at the Mann National Theatre in Westwood, Calif on Sunday July 27, 2003. (AP Photo/Chris Polk,

Jennifer Lopez is opening up about the demise of her engagement to A-lister Ben Affleck.

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Lopez recently sat down for a new interview with Vanity Fair and revealed she put great pressure on herself to “do something great all the time,” after becoming the first Latin actress to make $1 million from a role in a film. She thought she would find success in her 2003 film “Gigli,” which she starred in alongside then-fiancé Affleck. The film went on to be a flop at the box office.

“I was eviscerated,” she told the publication of the difficult time following the film’s release. “I lost my sense of self, questioned if I belonged in this business, thought maybe I did suck at everything.”

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Soon after “Gigli’s” release, her relationship with Affleck ended very publicly.

“My relationship [with Affleck] self-destructed in front of the entire world. It was a two-year thing for me until I picked myself up again,” she said.

Now, Lopez is back on top of her career and has found love again. She was previously married to Marc Anthony, with whom she shares two children, but now, she’s moved on to baseball hunk Alex Rodriguez, who she gushed about in the article.

“I understand him in a way that I don’t think anyone else could, and he understands me in a way that no one else could ever. In his 20s, he came into big success with the biggest baseball contract [at the time]. I had a No. 1 movie and a No. 1 album and made history. We both had ups and downs and challenges in our 30s, and by our 40s we’d both been through so much. And more importantly than anything, we had both done a lot of work on ourselves,” she said.

And, Rodriguez is equally in love with her. He told the publication his girlfriend is “happiest at home, in pj’s, eating chocolate-chip cookies with friends.”

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