Comedian, director and comic book super fan Kevin Smith definitely knows he’s blessed to be alive after suffering a massive heart attack, and he opened up about the terrifying moment he feared he wasn’t going to make it.
“I’ve got a zest for life … there was this moment where I was like, ‘I might die,” he said in a Facebook live video where he detailed his hospitalization.
Smith, 47, revealed that he didn’t truly realize how close he’d come to death until first responders brought out morphine, which “means bad s**t.”
Smith continued, “I started going like ‘this could be it, this might be it’ and so I thought about my life. It’s not like my life flashed before my life but i had a good long moment to think. and like what did i wanna do?”
For a moment he wondered if he should “bargain with God” to keep him alive, but he decided otherwise and a sense of “calm” came over him as he thought about his loved ones.
So I just thought about everything and thought about like, my parents and how they raised me, and my brother and my sister and my friends and my wife and my kid and this weird wonderful career that I?ve had for so long and stuff.
And I was like content. Like it was weird, I don?t know how to say it ? I didn?t want to die, don?t get me wrong ? but I was like, well, if the ferry man comes tonight I got to pay him. Like, what a ride its been, what an incredible f**king ride.
Smith shared that he’d known people who’d died, naming his grandmother and father — who’d passed away from heart failure — and he’d always thought he’d be “afraid of dying,” but in the moment “[he] was ready” and “okay with it.”
Warning: video contains graphic language. Viewer discretion advised.
The ?Clerks? writer and director was shooting a new standup special titled ?Kevin Smith Live!? at the Alex Theatre in Los Angeles on Sunday evening and was scheduled perform two shows that night (one at 6 p.m. and another at 9 p.m.) when he cancelled the second after falling ill.
As he detailed the entire incident, Smith said that originally thought he was simply having food poisoning from some spoiled milk, but that proved not to be the case.
?After the first show this evening, I had a massive heart attack,? the Silent Bob actor wrote alongside a selfie taken in his hospital bed hours after being hospitalized. ?The Doctor who saved my life told me I had 100% blockage of my LAD artery (aka ?the Widow-Maker?). If I hadn?t canceled show 2 to go to the hospital, I would?ve died tonight. But for now, I?m still above ground!?