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Move Over 3D! 5D Porn is Apparently a Thing Now and it Includes Water Effects

It’s here, the new interactive film experience we never asked for and are so scared to try out! Introducing the 5D Porn interaction. Yes, this is actually a thing, and I am so terrified of it. Turns out a theater in Amsterdam decided to open the 5D Porn theater, which combines motion seats and in theater effects such as wind, air jets, and water jets. Yes, water. Thankfully enough, there is no scent included in there, because that would just be deadly. Can you imagine?

The theater has 18 seats across the room and screens 6 original adult films per hour. Which I find really really disturbing, because who wants to watch porn out in public? Especially if it’s a theater full of horny people! That’s just so uncomfortable. Nope, big no from me. Take it back and burn this place to the ground.

Where exactly is this located? The interactive adult theater is located in Amsterdam’s De Wallen Red Light District. For the past few years, Amsterdam has worked to decrease the size of the red light district by putting restraints and blocking tourist groups from entering the district. Despite their attempts to “discourage tourism” within, owners stated that the new attraction is certainly going to bring outside visitors from around the world. Because tourists apparently really want to watch porn with strangers.

Through an interview with the Dutch Review, owners explained, “We are definitely not just going after tourists for our audience. It’s funny because in Amsterdam even the Dutch people have an interest in breaking free from the norm. Come with your wife, have a laugh, try something different.”

The movie theater is said to “please all five of the senses” and is being described as a virtual reality interactive amusement park. Honestly, I am so scared of the future. What’s 6D going to be? Touch sense? Oh god please no, just end this while you can. The last thing we need 45-year-old men pulling out their penis’ everywhere, thinking it’s appropriate to do so because they are watching porn.

Who knows if these 5D porn cinemas will expand to the United States, but in the meantime, there are plenty of less cringe-worthy and ‘regular’ theaters out there to go to. Whatever happened to plain 3D or just Netflix?

I’m gonna pass on this one. You should too.

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Silke  Jasso About the author:
Silke Jasso is a bilingual editor, writer, producer, and journalist specialized in online media. Born in Laredo Texas, her previous works include LareDOS Newspaper where she was an editor and writer and Entravision Communications where she was a Co-Anchor and Multi-Media Journalist for Fox39 News and Univision 27. She recently ...Read more
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