Adam Sandler Wrote a “Quarantine Song” to Get Us Through These Trying Times

Adam Sandler grew his Saturday Night Live legend in large part by performing funny songs like “The Chanukah Song,” “The Thanksgiving Song,” “Lunchlady Land,” and “Red Hooded Sweatshirt” on the show’s tentpole segment, Weekend Update. At one point it seemed like Sandler had a song a week, and no one was complaining.

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The Sandman is at it again this week. He (virtually) dropped by The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to add to his repertoire of on the nose, hilarious songs about stuff with “The Quarantine Song.” It was classic Sandler.

The lyrics are great, and include gems like:

Doctors brought us into the world as babies, doctors take good care of your grandma, doctors always give you an old lollipop after hitting your knee with a hammer, nurses slap your arm till they find a good vein, they wear Crocs and they tell you the truth, nurses give you ice packs and pain medication while your doctor is smoking on the roof.

God bless Italian doctors in Italy/And all the Spanish doctors in Spain/And God bless the doctors in China/And also the Chinese doctors in America.

We gotta build some ventilators, and make some more masks, we’ve got to do it now so it all comes together, I’m teaching math to my kids and that can’t be good for America.

Stay home as much as you can, make sure to wash your hands/Make this damn thing go away, we love doctors and nurses, you’re saving lives every day.

Man, it’s not exactly baseball or getting to go out to the bars and talk to human beings face to face but I’m never going to say no to a new Adam Sandler song so at least we got something nice out of this whole Godawful pandemic, bat-eating mess.

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