Dumb Bank Robber Forgets to Cut Eye-Holes in Pillowcase Mask

You just can’t make these things up. I swear it’s like robbers aren’t even trying to get away with their crimes anymore. I’m serious, just ask this dummy from Texas who decided to escape by using a scooter. Yes, click here for the article, it’s hilarious. Anyways, this one is way better.

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A 47-year-old bank robber from Scotland was arrested for a bank robbery that ultimately went terribly wrong. Apparently, Matthew Davies took a pillowcase to use as a mask…but realized he had simply forgotten to cut eye holes out before actually trying it on. Womp, womp, womp. A for effort bud, I can tell you really planned this one out.


So, obviously, this man had to take his pillowcase off to be able to see during the robbery, which made it very very easy to identify him. He allegedly threatened staff with a meat cleaver, got his money and left. But, what this dummy didn’t realize was that a witness apparently followed Davis from the Bank of Scotland Branch to his Dunfermline home.

After an inspection, authorities found the pillowcase mask “consistent with what he put over his head,” So, to jail, he went. Seeing as there was probably no way out of this one, he pleaded guilty to a charge of assault and robbery. Yes, Heist gone terribly bad, he’s definitely on Scotland’s most terrible bank robbers list.

Now, I know I am in no position to make fun of this man, let alone say that I could have done this better because I would never do this, but come on. How do you forget something as crucial as this? My man Matt over here must have been so nervous to skip a step as simple as this. Props for trying and sticking out with the plan even though he knew he was screwed. Hey, to any bank robbers out there, here’s some advice:

  1. Don’t rob a bank, that’s stupid.
  2. If you do decide to rob a bank, maybe make sure you have everything ready to go.
  3. Make sure there are no witnesses.
  4. Don’t rob a bank, that’s stupid.

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What do you think?

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