Do you have a weathered, dirty baby doll that inexplicably showed up in your trash one day and appears as if it’s been possessed by some sort of demon that gets off to slowly turning your husband into a paranoid homicidal lunatic? How about a Victorian doll that, based on all these newly dead cats in your neighborhood keep showing up in your bed each morning, clearly does the bidding of the spirit of a sadistic little girl who died from tuberculosis a hundred and twenty years ago?
Then head on up to Rochester, Minnesota for the History Center of Olmsted County’s creepy doll contest! Finally, you can get some use out of that weird doll made out of chicken bones you own — you know, the one you bought at a weird roadside shop in Honduras that later inexplicably survived the house fire your grandma died in the night she told you the doll was cursed by something called “El Fantasma de la Violación?”
Museum curator Dan Nowakowski says out of all the dolls in the contest the one he hates handling the most is (so, so understandably) the doll with real human hair. Nowakowski explains that the dolls obviously weren’t made to be creepy, but earned their eerie appearances over time thanks to paint chipping, eyes fading, and recently executed murderers’ souls attaching themselves to the dolls so they could use them as vessels to remain on earth and continue spreading their evil.
And, fun news! The History Center of Olmsted County is posting these creepy dolls to their Instagram. Here’s some nightmare fuel for you.
I call this one “RumpelKILLtskin.” He steals your baby but there’s no riddle involved to get the babies back he just eats them.
Look into this doll’s eyes… and the abyss!
This one goes by “Mother” but in the unsettling, Mike Pence way.
This is the kind of doll that wakes up and greets you with, “Goodbye.”
No one survives the house this doll inhabits. No one. The movie is over in the first act.
If you were wondering which doll is the one with real human hair, it’s this one. And it goes without saying that whoever donated this hair has been dead for a while.
I would rather wake up on Omaha Beach than to this doll at the foot of my bed.