Dog Poop Bomber Multnomah County Sheriff's Office
Multnomah County Sheriff's Office

A Portland, Oregon man only got three months probation for building a bomb and detonating it against a friend whom he believed wronged him. If that sounds harsh there are some caveats. For starters, the homemade bomb’s shrapnel wasn’t old nails and broken glass but, rather, dog poop. A lot of dog poop. Enough to fill a toolbox.

Furthermore, the bomb itself wasn’t powered by your normal explosion. Rather, the bomb was more like a super-powered Jack in the Box. But, again, filled with dog shit. Robb Alexander Stout, 49, told the Multnomah County Circuit Court judge overseeing his case that he built the bomb by stuffing a toolbox with dog poop and an old, undeployed airbag from a junkyard.

Stout put the poop-filled toolbox in the back of his friend’s Camaro (a wonderful detail of this story) and rigged it to go off when opened. Stout’s friend did indeed open the toolbox and told police it went off with the force of an M80. While, thankfully, Stout’s friend was able to walk away uninjured, the Camaro was not so lucky. The thing was absolutely plastered with dog dook.

According to Stout, he planted the bomb to get back at his friend for not returning Stout the tools he let him borrow in a timely manner. Stout felt insulted by his friend’s inconsiderate behavior. As if he didn’t matter. This, somehow, became the answer.

Stout readily admitted to the judge that his decision was a stupid one. As part of Stout’s probation he must complete a drug treatment program, no longer build explosives (make sense), and stay away from his former friend (also sensible).

The poo-nabomber assured the judge he would stay out of trouble, his main motivation staying out of jail so that he could be in his 11-year-old daughter’s life.

All’s mostly well that end’s with just some poo cleanup and no serious injuries, as they say.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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