I’m from Chicago, where celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day is an all-out destructive binge drinking marathon. We don’t just guzzle green beer; we dye the river green, dance like leprechauns, and vomit Shamrock Shake in the gutters. Though the city boasts a large population of Irish people, you don’t need a streak of Irish descent to get in on the emerald-hued action. Normally, the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations are like New Year’s Eve, Halloween, and everyone’s birthday rolled into one… if you spend your birthday trying to pee inconspicuously on public transportation.
Videos by Rare
I’ve heard that compared to the rest of the world, even Ireland itself, Americans go especially hard for St. Patrick’s Day. In a country is full of Irish immigrants and their descendants, American St. Paddy’s Day combines a love for Irish culture with strong alcoholic beverages… while skimping out on the ties to lent and Christianity. But we love it that way!
Sadly though, today marks our second pandemic St. Patrick’s Day. (A ‘Panny St. Patty’s, if you will.) And while we might not be able to drunkenly rage through the streets with our loved ones, we can still enjoy these hilarious videos from the days of yore, which capture the heights of Irishness, the depths of alcohol consumption, and the true Holy Trinity: Guinness, Jello shots, and green t-shirts. These cringey clips, I like to think, would make the patron Saint of Ireland proud. And at the very least, be thankful these characters will not be drunk driving through your city on this fabulous Celtic feast day.