A Florida man got more than he expected after he decided to steal drugs from a Pinellas County home, believing the pills he was stealing were powerful opioids. Turns out, the man was shocked after the opioids turned out to be laxatives! According to an arrest affidavit, Peter Hans Emery mistakenly stole “gentle laxatives” believing they were hydrocodone, which is a powerful narcotic. He eventually threw the pill bottle he stole when he realized they were “something else.”
The bottle, which was labeled hydrocodone-acetaminophen, actually contained ‘Equate Gentle Laxatives’ from Walmart that are meant for “gentle dependable overnight relief.” No the type of relief he necessarily wanted, but surely enough, a relief. I really have to give him this one because this is definitely a shitty situation to be in.
The Pinellas County Sheriff’s office was able to catch Emery after obtaining surveillance video that showed Emery breaking into a lockbox at the victim’s residence on Lake Allen Drive in Pinellas Park, and was seen putting the “opioids” into his hands. He then left the residence with the medication.
Emery, who reportedly has prior theft convictions, admitted to police that he didn’t have permission to take the pills. He retrieved two of the pills from his trash to show officers and was quickly arrested. The 56-year-old faces several probation violation charges including a felony charge of petit theft.
The question here is, if the opioids weren’t in the prescribed bottle, then where are they? Did someone else steal them and replace them with laxatives? So many questions here, what kind of home is this anyways? Florida, oh Florida.