A 21-year-old Japanese man was somehow able to cheerfully endure a nightmare that would send most young men sprinting into traffic or leaping out the closest five-story window.
Videos by Rare
Twitter user @analKABAO took the platform to show the world that his grandmother, who was in her pajamas and apparently looking for something to keep her feet warm, mistook his fleshlights — or “pocket pussies” as they’re more commonly known — for thermal socks and went ahead and put them on. Surprisingly, upon discovering his grandmother’s mistake @analKABAO (I see those first four letters in that name don’t think I don’t buddy) laughed instead of puked himself to death.
He recorded the whole thing on video and posted it with glee, even.
お婆ちゃんに「あんたの部屋にあった冷え性用の靴下借りたで〜」って言われて そんなんあったっけ?って思いながらお婆ちゃん見に行ったら、どっからどう見てもこの前買ったオナホール履いててガチで震えが止まらない pic.twitter.com/HxM0vMIFKT
— ア○ルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
近親相姦で捕まりたくないので、お婆ちゃんの足カスついたオナホ欲しい人いるならあげます。(まだ暖かいです) pic.twitter.com/uJ23yt3MAb
— ア○ルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
お婆ちゃん、嘘だと言ってくれ… pic.twitter.com/ae2CPPjRDQ
— ア○ルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
21歳になって、お婆ちゃんの足からオナホール抜くことになるとは思わなかった… pic.twitter.com/cIhELB6HPU
— ア○ルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
The “socks” were, however, quite difficult to remove. Eventually, though, grandma’s feet were liberated from her grandson’s literal cum dumpsters. (That sentence was horrifying to write.)
A couple thoughts:
1. Let this be a lesson to all you grandmothers and even you moms out there too: after your male offspring goes through puberty don’t touch anything in his room because he’s probably had sex with it or near it or on it. Only enter the room in a hazmat suit. Do not let house guests go within fifty feet of the door. Make sure you spay any female pets you have before they enter, just in case something in there gets them pregnant on accident. It probably won’t happen but you can’t risk finding the family cat on a towel in the garage one day, nursing five ungodly abominations that have your son’s eyes.
2. Credit to this grandson for, again, not denouncing any faith in God he may have had and then puking so hard that his throat exploded out of his neck or something. He has the constitution of a Queen’s guardsman.