Former Rare Staff
The world is a cruel place, but you’d never know it from talking to a modern day child from an affluent family in the developed world. They seem blissfully unaware of all the horrors of the world.
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Terrorism? Erm, no thanks, I’ve got a G.I. Joe.
Famine? Maybe once I’ve finished this level “Super Mario Odyssey.”
Disease? Sorry, too busy watching Nickelodeon.
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Kids weren’t always this way, though. Children knew what was up 100 years ago, and we have the tweets to prove it! Obviously, the children in question didn’t actually tweet, but some of their musings have been documented by the R.L. Ripples “TweetsOfOld” Twitter account, which transfers old newspaper items into tweets. In the run up to Christmas, “TweetsOfOld” has been sharing some letters written by kids to Santa Claus over a century ago.
As adorable as it sounds, don’t get too excited. A few of them are absolutely heartbreaking. Prepare to smile and cry.
Dear Santa, Please bring me a gun and some shells. You had better step light. -Martin Marsalis HattiesburgNews Mississippi1910
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 1, 2017
This kid was the inspiration for Stand Your Ground laws.
Dear Santa, Bring me a brother play with. Papa was a bad Democrat when he married Ma, but she turn him and now he is an awful Republican. Melvin
Missouri 1898— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 7, 2017
This tweet could’ve been written by Barron Trump.
Dear Santa, I thought you was dead I wrote to you many times and you didn't answer. The newspaper said you was living in a hotel. Joe CA1907
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 4, 2017
Clearly “fake news” isn’t a new concept.
Dear Santa Claus: I'd order a doll but I'm afraid the girls will laugh at me. -Anson
New York 1902— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 10, 2017
Be who you wanna be, Anson!
Dear Santa, You better bring me what I want or when I see you I will take your head off. Hoping to get my stuff. Your loving kid, Hexie Bunsclos TheLakeCountyTimes Indiana1910
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 2, 2017
Hard to believe they printed this. Maybe threats against non-existent characters don’t count as threats.
Dear Santa, Please bring me a clown riding a donkey. I have no papa who cares for us. He gives all his money to other children. Lovingly, David Indiana1913
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 5, 2017
David Lynch? Is that you?
Dear Santa: I want a basket ball and some candy. Do you remember when I slammed the door in your face? I was afraid of you then. -Jewel
New Mexico1922— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 6, 2017
Of course he remembers, Jewel. Santa’s like an elephant: he never forgets. And he’s large.
Dear Santa: My doll had a very bad accident. She smashed her head between a door so now she hasnt any head. Please bring her a head. Olga IL1903
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 3, 2017
Sure, Olga. “Accident.”
Dear Santa: Bring mamma a new dress. and papa a new suit. and me a hundred dollars worth of peanuts. so I guess that is all. Russell
Missouri 1919— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 6, 2017
$100 worth of peanuts in 1919 is like $1 billion worth of peanuts now. That’s a lot of peanuts.
Santa, Just bring me the same things as my brother Joe, only more of them and better. I live at the same place as he does. Guy Oklahoma1901
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 3, 2017
C’mon, Guy. Don’t be THAT guy.
Dear Santee, Pleas ask God to give us back our mamma and you can give our presents to somebody else. We just only want her. -Harriette
Nebraska 1901— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 11, 2017
We did warn you!
