Rob Fox
How do you measure the success of a film? Its box office take? Adoration from film critics? An enduring love from the masses? No. It’s none of the above. The only way to know for sure that you made a movie that’s worth a damn is if they make a porno spoof of it. There’s a reason there are roughly a thousand Jurassic Park pornos and exactly zero inspired by Brendan Fraser’s Blast From the Past.
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So, then, it goes without saying that the recent “live-action” (it’s all still animated) version of The Lion King was a success. Because they made a porno inspired by it. It’s called “The Loin King” and it’s art. Here’s the trailer, replete with porn-themed songs inspired by the film.
You can watch this entire masterpiece by subscribing to PornHub Premium, otherwise, you’re stuck with the trailer. Songs in the film include “Hot Cum on My Tatas”, “Can You Fill My Muff Tonight?”, and “The Circle Jerk of Life”.
The character names have also been porn’d up. Simba is now Sinba, Nala is Nana, Timone is Tibone, Pumba is Poonba, and Scar is Screw. Also for some reason, Elton John inspired an actual character in this and his name is Elton Dong.
Here’s the synopsis for the film. Try not to get turned on just reading it.
Sinba and Na-Na are ready to mate, but his evil uncle Screw sends his daddy to his death via a Wildebreast stampede. Now with the help of his two friends, Tibone and Poonbaa, will Sinba get back to feeling the love tonight? Find out in The Loin King.
The Loin King stars Kira Noir, Will Tile, Leya Falcon, Daisy Ducati, Rod Jackson, Lance Hart as “Elton Dong”, and was directed Lee Roy Myers.
So many little kids are going to accidentally watch this trailer.
