A dad filmed his three-year-old daughter, Cora, on her first big amusement park ride at the Lagoon Amusement Park in Farmington, Utah. The big, swinging Viking pirate ship ride was a seemingly harmless one. There were no sudden twists, turns, or drops. No loud rattling. No upside flips. Just some progressively larger swings. That’s what is, really. A big swing! What could go wrong?
Nothing, at least not at first, anyway. Cora was having the time of her life on her first big girl ride at the amusement park. It was an exciting day. She was probably all jacked up on popcorn and funnel cake. It was the type of pure, innocent high only a child can experience.
But then the trip got bad, man. Cora’s excitement quickly devolved into disbelief and terror. The progression was fast. You can watch it here.
Let’s see if we can’t outline the stages of this girl’s thinking here.
1. Weeeee I’m with my daddy at a big playground! Everything is so cool and awesome and colorful and exciting. Everything smells like cake! I love my dad. I love my life!
2. Whoa-ho! Okay. Things are gettin’ goin’ here. This is a big ride. Pretty thrilling!
3. Um. Hmmmmm. Went pretty high right there. But… I’m a big girl. It’s fine. And my big, brave dad is here. This is fine. This is fine.
4. This can’t be right.
5. We… we shouldn’t be going this high… right?
6. This is wrong.
7. This is VERY WRONG.
8. I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die.
9. WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME!?!?!
10. Is the devil operating this ride!?! Is MY DAD the devil?!?!?! BECAUSE THIS IS HELL.
11. Please God just end this. Kill me. Whatever. Just end my horror oh Jesus Christ this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone ever.
All is well that ends well though and it turns out Cora quickly overcame her fear of giant rides that move high and fast. According to her dad the family spent the entire day at the amusement park and Cora eventually went on even bigger rides. We get it Cora, that first one can be rough.