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Coronavirus Woman Locked in Bathroom

A Lithuanian man who would rather get divorced than get the Coronavirus absolutely put his alimony where his mouth is when he, upon suspecting that his wife might be infected with the hottest new strain of flu, locked her in their bathroom against her will.

The germaphobic husband freaked the hell out after his wife told him that she had met a Chinese woman who’d recently traveled to Italy, which has been hard hit by COVID-19. Hearing the words “Chinese” and “Italy” apparently sent the man into a frenzy and had him envisioning his wife Lady and the Tramp‘ing raw bat meat with Patient Zero because he tossed her in the bathroom shortly after she shared that fun news with him.

The husband claimed that he only locked his wife in the bathroom after consulting with several doctors over the phone. The wife must not have been in on the conversation though because after her terrified husband shoved her into the bathroom in their Vilnius apartment she called the police.

Authorities showed up to the apartment and released the woman from her toilet prison, but decided to test her for Coronavirus just to be safe. Turns out she didn’t have it.

The woman decided not to press charges against her husband, mostly because the law would have to render a fair and just punishment on him and she would, presumably, rather be unencumbered by things like restraint and reason while taking revenge on her idiot partner for being willing to leave her in their bathroom to die at the first sign of trouble.

So let this be a lesson to all husbands out there: if your wife is infected with a scary, life-threatening disease, you have two options. Get it with her and die with a smile on your face or go sleep in the car. That’s… probably the lesson.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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