Man With World’s ‘Largest Penis’ Says His Like Sucks

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LOL. Oh man, you know, sometimes you just can’t win them all. This man…this man is proof of that. A New Yorker is basically pouting his life away, despite having “ the world’s largest penis.” Yes, basically this man is so upset,  but he has decided to share what he faces on a daily basis as a man who had the world’s largest penis. This is according to Channel 4, which is releasing a documentary, “My Massive C–k,”  in which men described the struggles that they face while Having large penises.

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52-year-old Brooklyn native Jonah Falcon spoke about his issues, saying “Since my testicles are also extremely large, I’m cognizant of prominent bulges.” How big are his testicles? Well, they sit at a massive 13.5 inches when erect, which is more than double the United States average of 6 in. Apparently, the battle with the bulge has forced Falcon to not wear tight pants. “ I tend to wear baggy or plaited pants to go incognito, ” he noted. He also isn’t proud of his member, which measures 8 in wide.

He went on to say he realized that he wasn’t like other men when he was in elementary school.  “I was already over 4 inches flaccid when I was 10, so I had already caught the attention of other boys in boarding school,” he noted. “Being more than twice as big when flaccid as an adult (just over 8 inches soft, more in very hot weather) gets reactions from guys,” he stated.

Jonah Falcon on Instagram

He also claimed that he was recently stopped by LAX airport security due to his gigantic unexplained bulge in his pants that was caught by the scanner. Can you imagine that conversation? That is so embarrassing, this poor dude. “They frisked me and confirmed I was ‘all natural,’ ” he explained. “This is a normal occurrence with electric scanning devices though.”

Believe it or not, don’t ask me how, but apparently, Falcon’s penis is getting even bigger, which has cost him several problems in the bedroom. “For some reason, it’s gotten thicker to the point I can’t receive oral sex due to the girth, and intercourse requires a very slow entry,” he said. “As a trade-off, it’s harder to get absolutely fully erect — though that’s a function of age, I think.”

Apparently, when he does get erect, he sometimes gets lightheaded but he doesn’t think this is related to the size of his banana. So safe to say that sometimes bigger isn’t always better in the sheets if you know what I mean.

Despite his massive struggles, he said that he refuses to get a penis reduction due to his “Celebrity Status.” He previously claimed that he had slept with actors, Oscar winners, and pornstars, but he actually never specified who. So could it be just bogus? Maybe, most likely. But let this man have that win.

“It wasn’t Meryl Streep — I’ll just leave it at that,” Falcon stated. “It’s a real compliment when porn actors and actresses say I’m bigger than all of the partners they’ve had.”

Read More: Pope Francis Admits Nuns and Priests Indeed Do Watch Porn

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