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McDonald's Quarter Pounder Scented Candles
GoldenArchesUnlimited.com

If you’ve ever been sad that the smell of the Mickey D’s Q-P-C you ate the night before after twelve beers didn’t linger into the morning, good news! You can have that exact McDonald’s burger smell in your house for eternity, even if your Quarter Pounder didn’t have pickles on it.

McDonald’s, as part of its Quarter Pounder Fan Club, is offering a collection of scented candles for each of the ingredients on its famous, beefy burger. There are six different scented (flavored?) candles in this luxurious collection: 100% Fresh Beef, Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion, and Sesame Seed Bun. The Quarter Pounder Fan Club site recommends to “Burn together for maximum deliciousness” but, you know, if you’re just in the mood for a little bit of beef and cheese, feel free to mix and match as you please.

According to the site GoldenArchesUnlimited.com, the candles are “Coming Soon.” They have an approximate burn time of 25 hours, are a soy wax blend with fine fragrance, essential oil, and cotton wick, and will ship free domestically, though there are limited quantities. The candles are also helpfully colored the same as their scents in case you’re in such a hurry to smell raw white onion that you don’t have time to read.

A couple thoughts:

1. I’m not enough of a Quarter Pounder fan to buy these, or enough of a KFC fan to buy their similarly themed fried chicken Yule Log, but I’d buy a Pizza Hut version of this — in part just to troll my candle loving wife — so, broadly, I get the appeal of a fast-food scented candle.

2. If you light the ketchup candle on its own you’re a disgusting psychopath and you need to be committed to a psychiatric facility for evaluation.

3. If we get McFlurry and apple pie candles that’d be much appreciated.

Watch: 6 Items You Should Never Order off the McDonald’s Menu

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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