What scares you? I mean what really scares you? Clowns? Spiders? Children with vacant eyes singing softly at the end of a dark hallway? Nah. Clowns are just people who dress up like clowns. In other words, the least threatening people on the planet. Spiders are creepy but easy to kill. And even if those kids did want to murder you, they’re kids. What? You can’t take a couple singing 10-year-olds?
What really scares most people is something like never paying off your student debt, or a breakup or massive expense forcing you to move back in with your parents. You think your apartment sucks? Wait until you have to tell a cute girl you’re talking to at the bars that you live with your mom. You’ll be begging God to send a chainsaw-wielding clown to end you.
Knowing all too well that what really scares people are everyday problems intensified and stretched out into eternity, Natty Light created a contest this Halloween rewarding the person who comes up with the best “horror costume that reflects a real-life everyday fear.” All you have to do is upload your picture and a description to Instagram and include both #NattyScaries and #Contest in the caption.
The winner gets TEN GRAND.
And, if you need some inspiration, Natty Light even provided some examples.
Scary Bad Credit
Looking to buy a sensible car? Finally have enough money to own a home? THINK AGAIN! You’ll be renting and taking the bus forever.
Undying Laundry Basket
Its smell will linger forever.
Shackled by Student Debt
Just like Mozart, you’re a genius who will die too poor to afford their own grave. Except you weren’t ever famous and will be forgotten like twenty minutes after you die.
Moving Back in with Parents
The ultimate terror. The culmination of most of these other costumes, with the exception of the laundry basket. But don’t worry, that’ll make an appearance when your mom screams at you, an adult human, for not doing your laundry.
“This is normal in Europe,” you’ll say to yourself in a sad, fruitless attempt to assuage your own shame and grief. WELCOME TO HELL.