These Naughty Valentine’s Day Cards Are Funny and Dirty (Like Your Husband)

Hallmark, your cards are cute and all, but some of us are just too raunchy for your cards. I’m not cute and romantic like F. Scott Fitzgerald. I like penis jokes and flirting. To me, that says, “I love you.” Luckily, these naughty Valentine’s Day cards will express exactly how I feel.

We gathered 15 of the best naughty Valentine’s Day for you to give your sexy spouses. Trust me, these are not your typical Hallmark greeting cards. These funny Valentine’s Day cards are for people who share a unique love. See which adult Valentine’s Day card your significant other will like.

Naughty Valentine’s Day Cards

Sexy Card, Funny Anniversary Card, Birthday Card, Naughty Valentine's Day Card for Him or Her
Amazon

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It’s not my fault.

2. Rude Dirty Funny Love You Sexy Personalized Valentine’s Day Greetings Card

Rude Dirty Funny Love You Sexy Personalized Valentine's Day Greetings Card
Amazon
Funny anniversary card for him or her with envelope | Dirty card for birthday for husband or wife | Naughty present for Valentine’s Day | Joke love card for boyfriend or girlfriend
Amazon
NobleWorks, What Happened to Leaf - Funny Adult Valentine's Day Card - Naughty, Sexy Love Card with Envelope 2007
Amazon

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This quirky card is perfect for stoners.

5. Funny Anniversary Card, Birthday Card, Love You with All of My Bobs Card for Boyfriend Husband Him

Funny Anniversary Card, Birthday Card, Love You with All of My Bobs Card for Boyfriend Husband Him
Amazon
Sleazy Greetings Funny Anniversary Card For Husband | Dirty Birthday Card for Boyfriend Husband Him | Perfect For Valentine's Day | Glaze My Hole Donut Card
Amazon
Kinky Naughty Valentine's Day Card for Him or Her -" Somebody's Getting Laid Tonight, Happy Valentines Day Hot Stuff" - Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Dirty
Amazon
Funny Cute Valentine's Day Greeting Card, Reminder Love Card, Love You Card, Happy Anniversary Card, Envelope Included, Blank Inside
Amazon
Funny Valentine's Day Card, Give Me The D Tonight, Cheeky Greeting Card for Him Boyfriend
Amazon

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I love this.

10. Funny Valentine’s Day Card,Naughty Valentines Day Card For Him

Funny Valentine's Day Card,Naughty Valentines Day Card For Him
Amazon
Naughty Adult Love Card - You Give Me a Heart On - 5" x 7" Blank Inside with Kraft Envelope - Funny Anniversary Romantic Greeting Card for Couples (HEART ON)
Amazon
Dirty Valentine Card, Naughty Valentine's Day Cards, Sexy Valentine Card, Boyfriend Card, Husband Card, Cards For Him, Funny Valentine
Amazon

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You can’t go wrong with this card, candy hearts, and a lovely Valentine’s Day gift.

13. Naughty Anniversary Card | Rude Funny Birthday Card for Boyfriend, Husband, Him, Fiance

Naughty Anniversary Card | Rude Funny Birthday Card for Boyfriend, Husband, Him, Fiance
Amazon
Sleazy Greetings Funny Let's Bone Anniversary Birthday Valentine's Day Card For Him Or Her | Dirty Halloween Skeleton Card | Let's Bone Card
Amazon
Rude Dirty Get Pussy Ready Sexy Personalized Valentine's Day Greetings Card
Amazon

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It’s aggressive, but I love it. This sex card definitely isn’t for women who hate dirty jokes. Hopefully your partner loves them though. If not, well, maybe find someone else.

For more high-quality cards and gift ideas for your spouses and best friends, visit Amazon.

This post was originally published on January 6, 2021.

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