Looking after your neighbor’s box of dildos: what could go wrong? In fairness to the Spanish woman who agreed to store her neighbor’s sex toys, what ended up happening was not exactly something she could have seen coming, even if the favor was still unusual. That’s because she found a severed human head in the box.
The woman’s neighbor and owner of the sex toys/dead guy’s head, 61-year-old Maria del Carmen Merino, was arrested by Spanish police after her neighbor finally discovered the decapitated head. She’s currently facing homicide charges.
How did Merino’s neighbor find the head, you ask? She was walking around her house and noticed a stench coming from the box of what she believed were sex toys. She thought, “Wow, my neighbor’s dildos are pretty smelly. Ugh thanks a lot Maria. You could’ve at least run these through the dishwasher before you brought them over.”
So then the woman opened the box of sex toys and found the human head. Then she had a panic attack. (Seeing a decapitated head where you thought dildos were supposed to be will do that to you.) Then she called the cops.
According to Merino the head belongs to her ex-boyfriend, 67-year-old Jesus Maria Baranda. Merino claims that Baranda’s head was dropped off at her doorstep after he went missing in February. Merino was going to call the police and everything but Baranda’s severed head was, Merino says, the only memento she had to remember her beloved by, so she kept it. (Apparently Baranda hadn’t left behind a tie or watch or coffee mug.)
This story doesn’t totally add up in the eyes of the authorities, however, because it appears that Merino took the head to her neighbor’s after police informed her they’d be stopping by her place to investigate. And, though it’s unclear if the police feel this way, it’s pretty fishy that Merino told her neighbor the box with her ex-boyfriend’s head in it was actually dildos. What better way to ensure that someone isn’t going to open that box than to say, “Oh, what’s in there? Just a bunch of penis-shaped stuff I stick inside of me.”