“Hello, my name’s Jeff,” said Kate McKinnon in a southern drawl, costumed like some kind of Keebler elf going to Sunday services. “Jeff Sessions. I’m the attorney general of the whole U-ni-ted States.”
When “Saturday Night Live” is on break for three weeks in the Trump Administration, you really never know what you’re going to get. Like this “Forrest Gump”-inspired sketch, where Jefferson Beauregard Sessions (say the Beauregard like a frightened extra in “Gone with the Wind” for effect) holds court at a bus stop with a box of chocolates, each bus that passes bringing a new seat-mate.
Sessions explains his week in great detail, starting from President Trump’s speech to a joint session (“We were all as happy as a monkey with a peanut machine!”) and going all downhill from there (“Then I went to bed, I got 800 messages on phone alerts saying I was a sneaky little liar!”).
But then a certain shirtless Russian leader gets off the bus, claiming “this meeting never happened,” Sessions confirms “I wasn’t going to remember it anyway!” Fist bump. America.