Sarah Gailey, a California-based writer, has told at least one story that caught a lot of attention. She took to Twitter to tell a tale of “instant gross justice,” and we cannot keep from cringing at the horribleness of the revenge on her former boyfriend. Read it for yourself, but be warned, it has a pretty nasty ending.
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I once dated a terrible man who was awful &horrible &I shouldn't have dated him. You know the type. Just picture "awful," that's him. 1/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
One of the horrible things about this man was that he didn't listen to me. Ever. Even if he asked a question, he'd ignore the answer.
2/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
One night we were at a family member's house and he spotted something curious lying on the coffee table.
"What's that?" he asked.
3/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
"Don't touch it," I said, even as he reached for the thing on the table.
Did he listen?
What do you think, reader?
4/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
He grabbed it &started to fiddle with it.
"Put that down, you don't want to touch it" I said.
"But what is it?" he asked, still fiddling.
5/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
"It's — put it down, don't touch that button," I said.
What do you imagine he did?
6/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
Reader, he raised the thing in his hand to eye level, looked right at me, and
touched
the
button7/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
I was trying to save him from himself.
I really was.
But it all happened so fast, there wasn't time for me to explain what the thing was.
8/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
Twitter, if y'all have ever watched television, you have probably seen a commercial for
The Ped Egg9/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
The Ped Egg, for the uninitiated, is a little egg-shaped device. It's hollow.
On the underside, there's a little foot grater.10/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
You can use the Ped Egg to grate off the crusty, barnacled undersides of your gnarled-up feet. The egg part catches the foot shavings.
11/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
You can really collect a lot of foot shavings if you are a dedicated foot-grater and use your Ped Egg on the daily
as my relative did
12/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
(my apologies to everyone who
If you don't empty your Ped Egg frequently, it can get
*pretty much packed*
with foot shavings
(sorry)
13/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
Back to the story.
My ex raised the thing to eye level, looked at me, and pushed the button.
And the thing in his hand sprang open.
14/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
My relative's foot shavings ERUPTED from within the Ped Egg like an explosion of flesh confetti
15/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
"What was that?!" he yelled, frantically slapping at his face, trying to whisk the foot crumbs out of his eyelashes
16/
— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
I was laughing so hard that I was in very real danger of peeing myself and the only word I managed to choke out was
"feet"
17/— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
THAT is why you ALWAYS listen to your girlfriend. Because if you don't, you end up with a foot in your mouth.
And nose.
And eyes.
~fin~— Sarah Gailey ~ Updates (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
In case you’re wondering what exactly it was that dropped on her boyfriend’s face, here’s a picture of the inside of one of these things.
https://twitter.com/THEPrincessCica/status/828504068452708352
And here’s what they look like closed.
Free PedEgg Pedicure Ultimate Foot https://t.co/WXRmVHp9gu pic.twitter.com/EyOajol8Bp
— Freedailysamples (@Dfreesamples) February 12, 2017
We have no idea why he would want to toy around with anything that has a picture of a foot on it.