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steel-toed crocs Facebook/WCHX 105.5FM Radio

Crocs (probably) get too much ire. Does someone who wears Crocs to go out to eat at a sit-down restaurant or to their kid’s college graduation deserve to be made fun of? Yes. Unequivocally so. Even Applebee’s deserves better. But is it really so wrong to wear them to Walmart or to walk the dog? Are they any worse than a crappy pair of plastic flip-flops that are showing off someone’s gross, dry, cracking feet? No. Absolutely not.

That said, if you wear Crocs to a job serious enough that it requires your shoes to be steel-toed, you deserve to lose any and all toes/feet contained within those Crocs. Why steel-toed Crocs exist is a mystery not worth solving. No more so than, “You think a hawk coulda swooped down ‘n stole my tire jack outta my truck bed?”

But they do exist, and here we are.

Three things. First, I’m not convinced these are actually real, because second, they look homemade. A cursory Google search doesn’t show any steel-toed Crocs for sale, which probably confirms the latter. That said, based on the frankly bewildering amount of Crocs for sale on the Facebook marketplace within 40 miles of Washington, Missouri, that someone would create their own steel-toed Crocs in that section of the country seems depressingly plausible. (Look it up on Facebook. It’s out of control.)

Lastly, the reason this guy was fired after one day was because he wore homemade steel-toed Crocs to work, right? What other possible reason could there be? “We told you get to get steel-toed boots and you showd up with some metal glued onto freakin’ Crocs, Carl. We no longer have confidence that you can safely operate this forklift.”

If it’s any consolation to the newly unemployed Croc cobbler, he may very well have a career in photography ahead of him, because this is a laughably, unneccesarily high quality picture of homemade industrial Crocs.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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