A young man in India wanted a Jaguar for his birthday present. Instead, his crappy parents got him a BMW because the Jaguar was way more expensive. They figured their ungrateful son would be happy with a merely incredible luxury car instead of an unbelievable one. Sad! So this young man did what any reasonable kid who was handed a cheaper luxury car than what he originally wanted for his birthday would do. In a fit of anger, he pushed it into a river. Yes, their son pushes a brand new BMW, his birthday gift, into a river. Take that mom and dad. Get something right for once in your stupid worthless lives.
For what it’s worth, the birthday boy in question, a rich 22-year-old man named Akash, immediately regretted his decision. Apparently, there’s something incredibly sobering about watching a $50,000 birthday present drift away down a river. (That new car was worth almost 50 times what India’s per capita household income is, by the way.) Oh how the times of India, or anywhere really, have changed.
This is, truly, one of the great rich kid tantrums in recent memory, specifically because of how old the “kid” in question is. It’s one thing for an 11-year-old to lose their shit over getting the wrong gaming system to go with his giant TV, surround sound system, and special gaming chair. It’s quite another for someone old enough to drive to figuratively piss and scream in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese. What kind of luxury is this ungrateful son used to, where he basically destroys a BMW M3? How many butlers has he gotten into a fistfight with? What are his personal matters like? This is like the beginning of a Disney movie where the protagonist gets turned into a dung beetle and has to learn to be thankful for what he has.
The Indian man did go into the river after his BMW, though. Like I said, it had to be pretty sobering. Like an, “Oh Goddamn I really just did that moment.” It’s unclear if the new car still works but that feels like a no. It got pretty deep in the river. Also, does Akash really deserve to have it work? I can’t imagine what Akash’s father is thinking, or what solutions local police were thinking of to solve the problem. If my son were to push any BMW in the river, someone call the local police officials on me to hold back my anger.
This article was originally published on August 12, 2019.