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Camel Testicles

A Florida woman who became trapped under a camel after entering its cage at a gas station zoo in Louisiana in order to retrieve her dog claims that she was only able to escape the defensive camel’s clutches by biting its testicles.

Seeing as this happened to a Florida resident at a rural Louisiana roadside zoo, yeah that all checks out. No other details are required to prove that this happened. You can cancel any dental imprints anyone was planning on doing on that camel’s scrotum. This is a completely believable story given the actors and location involved.

There is a twist, however. The story at first makes it sound as if the woman and her dog escaped a tricky situation in which they were the victims, but actually, it turns out the camel is the real victim here.

According to authorities the woman and her husband stopped at Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, Louisiana to let their dog out and somehow that devolved into the husband throwing dog treats into the camel’s cage for the dog to retrieve. When the couple’s dog started interacting with the camel the woman crawled into retrieve the pet and the camel sat on her. That’s when she chomped down on the beast’s nads to escape.

Police pretty much immediately faulted the couple and insisted that the camel did nothing wrong. Someone broke into his house, he reacted, and the intruder bit him in the balls. How could he have been blamed for any wrongdoing?

The couple, meanwhile, was charged with a leash law violation and criminal trespassing. Somehow the woman avoided any charges for specifically trying to take a chunk out of the camel’s guy sack.

But, again, what else do you expect to happen at a zoo that doubles as a place for truckers to watch porn and eat beef jerky? This ain’t exactly The San Diego Zoo here.

Watch: The Texas Camel Corps: A Forgotten History with Ties to Country Music

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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