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Road Rage Woman

A Pennsylvania woman, upset over being called rude by a man she slammed a Post Office door into, which knocked his packages everywhere, decided to show the guy the true meaning of rude. But she conflated “rude” with “murder” and ran him down with her car in the parking lot a few minutes later.

The woman, 27-year-old Elizabeth Noel Morrison, initially swore at the man before she decided that he needed to taste rubber and steel for his offense. She’s been charged with felony aggravated assault by a vehicle as well as lesser charges including criminal mischief and some vehicle code violations. (There are a lot of different vehicle codes asking you not to use your car as a weapon when feeling offended.)

The 31-year-old man she attacked with her car only suffered minor injuries, thankfully. Unfortunately, the man’s packages were mostly destroyed by Morrison’s car.

This was, undeniably, an impressive double down by Morrison on the whole rude thing. What kind of day was she having that she took things from 0 to 100 (figuratively and sort of literally) like that? She had to have woken up, stubbed her toe getting out of bed, read anything on Twitter, saw her worst enemy get engaged to a 10 out of 10 beefcake on Instagram and then win the lottery, and, finally, as she was leaving the Post Office after, who knows, mailing a large check for a medical bill she owed on, ran into this guy. A real no good, horrible, very bad day capped off with a some spontaneous attempted murder.

Saying we’ve all been there would be a stretch but it’s probably within reason to say we’ve all been within orbit of wherever there is. Sometimes you want to run some bastard over with your car. It’s not right and certainly not rational, but… the heart wants what it wants? Nah that’s not really working here.

Watch: Dad Tries to Kill Son with Chainsaw, Son Runs Him Over with Lawnmower

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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