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Woman Got Vibrator Stuck Inside Bladder While it was Still Vibrating

That doesn’t go there! An Arizona woman needed surgery to remove a small vibrator from her bladder after the device, which is only intended for external use, somehow shimmied its way up into her. Way up into her.

The woman, who understandably did not want to be identified, told local news that she was testing out her new Vesper Vibrator Necklace during adult times in the bedroom with her boyfriend when, suddenly, the device slipped from outside to inside and shot up inside of her.

Rightfully freaked out, the woman rushed to the ER with the still vibrating sex toy inside of her, apparently shaking her entire abdomen upon every vibration. The ER team x-rayed the woman but could not find the device in her abdomen, where they believed it was. Finally, OBGYN Greg Marchand conducted an x-ray of his own and found the vibrator lodged inside her bladder.

After a quick emergency surgery, the vibrator was removed.

The woman now says she wants to sue the maker of the vibrator, Crave. A spokesperson for Crave responded by basically saying, “Nah she used it wrong.”

A couple thoughts:

1. What are the chances this woman and/or her boyfriend were hammered drunk when this happened? There’s a good chance their BAC was higher than the temperature in Arizona that day. We’re talking a couple pitchers of margaritas and a case of White Claws at least.

2. This is an extremely on-brand story for Arizona.

3. All I can think about with this woman (rightfully) freaking the hell out at the ER, begging someone to find where the hell the vibrator was inside of her and get it the out ASAP is the scene from Prometheus where Noomi Rapace gives herself surgery to get the alien embryo inside of her out.

This feels accurate to the situation.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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